It was a truly sad day when the King of Pop passed away, especially now that there is some controversy on the way he died. Could it really be the result of a bad mixture of his prescribed drugs? Is his doctor liable? I hope that they find closure to the real reason behind his death.
Thank you, Michael for all the inspiration. You gave me strength when I was 12 to get a perm, even though it made me look like a troubled child from the mountains. You gave me the courage to wear a red vest with matching white glove to church when my classmates insisted on wearing white button down long sleeved shirts to First Communion. You gave me the audacity to bust out in a moonwalk during my sister’s cotillion in her debut.
Let’s not forget another inspiring person who also recently passed away - Farrah. Thank you, Farrah, for helping me get through puberty.
May both their souls rest in peace.
Posted 5 days, 12 hours ago at 12:06 am. Add a comment
So far this is the best remix of Poker Face that I’ve heard. Lyrics are pretty explicit but it’s so dope, I forgive them. How can you not admire a rapper who uses medula oblonggata in a rap?
I love Spam. It got me through college, together with ketchup, rice, egg, and the coins stuck in the depths of the couch. Without Spam, I don’t think I would’ve made it. But nowadays, Spam has gotten a bad name, thanks to people who do email blasts of none sense like how to enlarge your manhood. Serendipitously, I found the new Spam Lite at the grocery. All the goodness of Spam without the guilt. It taste exactly the same as the regular Spam, unless my taste buds are lying to me. So now, you can enjoy this delicious processed meat without worrying too much about your health. I’m now waiting for french fries lite, donut lite, and twinkie lite.
Marquez, Diaz, Dela Hoya, all of them have one thing in common besides being Spanish names. They all got beat up by the fists of the Pacman. I haven’t been a Pacquiao fan for that long; I started following his fights since he fought Eric Morales. I’ve seen Manny knock down Mexicans, Mexican-Americans, and a Brit, but I’ve never seen him take on a black guy. Yes, I’m throwing the race card. So I’m a bit nervous for him because there are talks that his next fight might be against Mayweather Jr. or Shane Mosley.
I know Pacman has skills and is constantly improving, but I can’t help but get intimidated. It kind of reminds me of the good old days when I used to play ball at Liberty Park in Cerritos, CA. The Pinoys would play on certain courts and the brothers would play on the other court. But once in a while you would get a Pinoy to play with the brothers and vice versa. In my experience, playing against black guys was a bit intimidating, blame it on the NBA and the media hype. But I’d say out of 10 black dudes I’ve played against, about 2 or 3 would be really good. The rest were just trash talkers. They still had good form, but they couldn’t score or play defense. But they could really talk, especially if they were backed up by really good players.
Hopefully, the Pacman has had experience beating a black dude, in the ring of course. Whoever he ends up fighting, my bet is still on him. You can’t beat someone who came from below the poverty line in General Santos.
If you haven’t seen these videos, you’re missing out. They’re hilarious. They’re a series of short muppet sketches of Kobe Bryant and Lebron James living together and taunting each other. Too bad, Lebron didn’t make it to the finals.
Posted 3 weeks, 5 days ago at 1:16 pm. Add a comment
Just like Converse in the eighties, Koreans are everywhere. You see them on TV, in schools, and our neighborhoods. In my village, the signs are subtitled in Hangul. I can now read “stop”, “please don’t crash into the gate”, and “wanted: maid with pleasing personality” in Korean. Inevitably, as with most immigrants, there has been an increasing backlash against them. Some of the prejudices are undeserved and some are understandable. But before you wrongfully accuse me of bigotry like Michael Richards, hear me out. I’m not propagating racial discrimination here. I merely want to understand the reasons behind this contempt towards our Korean friends.
My first theory, which has been validated by some of my Korean associates who will go under the names Kim and Chee, is that a lot of the bad seeds of Korea are the ones that come over to our country. These are the sketchy characters that are running away from the law and the Philippines is their Mexico. I’ve heard a few stories of how they’ve swindled their fellow Koreans of millions of Wons with bogus real estate investments and fictitious business deals. Another scam they’re notorious for is subletting property without authority from the owner, much like our professional squatters. They convert small apartments into dormitories and cram short-term students who are studying English or golf into small rooms. You can always tell the condo unit they’re occupying by the stacks of slippers by the front door and the sweet smell of kimchi. Kim and Chee add that a lot of the good Koreans don’t even want to associate themselves with these crooks. They shun them like rugby boys under the bridge.
My other theory, in conjunction with my first one, is based on what the poet Herman Hesse once said, “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself.” Here are some similarities between Filipinos and Koreans:
They like smelly fermented cabbage called kimchi. We like smelly fermented shrimp called bagoong.
They spit inside elevators. We blow our nose with one finger inside taxicabs, dangerously missing passersby, but just as gross.
They have telenovelas with cheesy actors. We have Dyezebel.
They dress funny with their oversized colorful visors and high-heeled shoes at the beach. We wear basketball jerseys, shorts, and shirts over our swimsuits at the beach.
They slap the caddies at the golf course. We slap our maids when they use our Titlist driver for cleaning those hard to reach places like underneath your bed.
They’re afraid of Kim Jong Il. We’re afraid of Kim Jong Il.
We all know it’s wrong to judge a race by some of its members. If that were the case, the whole world might think we’re really good singers and powerful boxers. Koreans, like Filipinos and other human beings, have good people and bad people. If you prick them, do they not bleed? If you tickle them, do they not laugh? Get to know them first as individuals… and then judge them.
Okay, before I let this one go because it’s obviously already too much, I’d just like to throw in my two centavos about this whole Hayden Kho and Katrina Halili sex tape. The real loser here is not Katrina Halili. Yes, she was wronged and it sucks that her private video was leaked out (I feel sorry for her), but when all the hoopla dies down, she’ll be getting movie deals left and right. What I’m saying is she will get compensated generously for all the publicity she’s getting and besides, she wasn’t exactly a role model to begin with before all of this even started (So why is Gabriela all of a sudden backing her up?) Also, it didn’t help that she went on national TV asking people not to watch the video - that exactly had the opposite effect. Remember, law of attraction. As for Hayden Kho, he’ll get the justice he deserves. Did he think he was William Baldwin in Sliver?
The real losers here are all the fans of the song “Careless Whisper”. Now, we can never use that as our theme song for weddings or any other occasion except maybe for bachelor’s parties. One can’t even sing it in a videoke bar without getting sniggers and knowing looks. This also sucks for all the legally married couples who want to spice up their marital sex life with a little amateur video, even if they plan to delete it right after. All women are now paranoid.
And for all the politicians who are getting on the bandwagon and using this case as an indicator of how our society has become so immoral, oh hush! One person’s action does not reflect a whole society’s moral behavior. There are a lot of decent guys out there who respect and cherish women. They just don’t make videos of how they respect women and treat them right and post it on the web.
I’ve always believed that if you feed viewers junk, they will expect junk. And the vicious cycle continues. That is why there is so much bad programming on Philippine television nowadays (on the big networks) that follow the same formula, particularly in comedy, an industry to which I’m very involved and feel very attached. So what is one to do, especially if you don’t have the budget, the connections, or the massive reach as the big networks. Thankfully, there’s the Internet. But the internet itself is not immune to bad programming. How many stupid videos that have really bad production value have you watched that have surprisingly millions of hits? One too many. I don’t have the answer, but if you have any thoughts, please let me know.
Posted 1 month, 2 weeks ago at 12:00 am. Add a comment
Today, we celebrate our mothers. It’s the least we could do for all the sacrifices they’ve made for us. It’s not easy pushing out a baby from your womb into the world through a tiny vagina. Have you ever had to go to the bathroom after 3 days of not going at all? Sorry about that, in case you’re eating while reading this.
But I think we should take it a step further: there should be a deadbeat dad’s day. Yes, I’m talking about giving a day to all these irresponsible fathers whose only contribution is their sperm. But instead of celebrating them, let us make them pay, literally. I say about P10,000 or $200 each. It’s not much if you think of all the expenses mothers have to cover: tuition, milk, medicine, groceries, the Disney channel, and therapy. And on the same day, these loser dads should serve all the mothers with manual labor. They should give moms pedicures, buy them sanitary napkins, and buy them a nice pair of Charles and Keith shoes. But the dads shouldn’t match up with the mothers of their kids because that would just be a bad thing waiting to happen. It should be a pool and mothers get to pick which slave they want for the day. In fact, we should add deadbeat sons to this pool. Yeah, those 30-plus something guys who don’t have jobs and still live with their parents (you can usually find them on the Most Eligible Bachelor’s List on the Tattler).
I guess what I’m trying to say is love your mothers because they’re the only ones you’ve got.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago at 9:13 pm. Add a comment
I think we’ve just about had enough about this whole issue of Martin Nievera’s interpretation of the Philippine National Anthem. Both sides have good points to make. A P5,000 to P20,000 penalty sounds reasonable but a year in prison I think is a bit too much for such a petty crime, if it is even really a crime. The real crime is leaving Pops Fernandez, but that’s another story. Granted the singer didn’t have license to make his own interpretation, Martin did not have malicious intentions, although I personally didn’t like his ending note either. Plus, Martin’s a good guy, at least he seems. So my theory is this: this is all publicity to revive Martin’s career. That’s why he doesn’t want to apologize to end this debate. The longer this drags on, the more attention he gets, which eventually means more people watching his concerts. Clever move, Martin. For the next Pacman fight they should get Apol de Ap to rap the anthem. Oh and Christian Bautista should also be jailed for forgetting the lyrics to our national anthem.
Posted 1 month, 3 weeks ago at 1:14 pm. Add a comment
