Korean Invasion

Just like Converse in the eighties, Koreans are everywhere. You see them on TV, in schools, and our neighborhoods. In my village, the signs are subtitled in Hangul. I can now read “stop”, “please don’t crash into the gate”, and “wanted: maid with pleasing personality” in Korean. Inevitably, as with most immigrants, there has been an increasing backlash against them. Some of the prejudices are undeserved and some are understandable. But before you wrongfully accuse me of bigotry like Michael Richards, hear me out. I’m not propagating racial discrimination here. I merely want to understand the reasons behind this contempt towards our Korean friends.

My first theory, which has been validated by some of my Korean associates who will go under the names Kim and Chee, is that a lot of the bad seeds of Korea are the ones that come over to our country. These are the sketchy characters that are running away from the law and the Philippines is their Mexico. I’ve heard a few stories of how they’ve swindled their fellow Koreans of millions of Wons with bogus real estate investments and fictitious business deals. Another scam they’re notorious for is subletting property without authority from the owner, much like our professional squatters. They convert small apartments into dormitories and cram short-term students who are studying English or golf into small rooms. You can always tell the condo unit they’re occupying by the stacks of slippers by the front door and the sweet smell of kimchi. Kim and Chee add that a lot of the good Koreans don’t even want to associate themselves with these crooks. They shun them like rugby boys under the bridge.

My other theory, in conjunction with my first one, is based on what the poet Herman Hesse once said, “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself.” Here are some similarities between Filipinos and Koreans:

• They like smelly fermented cabbage called kimchi. We like smelly fermented shrimp called bagoong.
• They spit inside elevators. We blow our nose with one finger inside taxicabs, dangerously missing passersby, but just as gross.
• They have telenovelas with cheesy actors. We have Dyezebel.
• They dress funny with their oversized colorful visors and high-heeled shoes at the beach. We wear basketball jerseys, shorts, and shirts over our swimsuits at the beach.
• They slap the caddies at the golf course. We slap our maids when they use our Titlist driver for cleaning those hard to reach places like underneath your bed.
• They’re afraid of Kim Jong Il. We’re afraid of Kim Jong Il.

We all know it’s wrong to judge a race by some of its members. If that were the case, the whole world might think we’re really good singers and powerful boxers. Koreans, like Filipinos and other human beings, have good people and bad people. If you prick them, do they not bleed? If you tickle them, do they not laugh? Get to know them first as individuals… and then judge them.