The Antarctic Sheets are Melting
I hate playing Chicken Little, but the ice sheets in Antarctica are melting and this was supposed to happen 15 years from now. In a way, this might actually be good because it will now force us to take radical measures to fight global warming.
Some people might think that this problem is not their responsibility and it should be solved by the next generation. Duh? What if you’re reincarnated? Besides, with technological advancements in genetic engineering, we might all live over a hundred years. So how do we win this war? Here are 3 extreme measures for our extreme challenge:
1. Support more transport strikes.
Public commuters in Metro Manila were stranded in the last transport strike, but on the bright side, the city was surprisingly clear of smog. You could actually take a jog along EDSA without using a canary to scout for poison in the air. More of these strikes mean improvement in our air quality index and a reduction in our dependence on the black gold that finance totalitarian governments that deprive women of their human rights. It might be inconvenient for a lot of employees going to work, but the truth is inconvenient.
2. Hold your breath.
We all know that humans breathe out carbon dioxide. Now, if we all hold our breaths for at least 1 minute a day, that would mean less carbon emissions in the atmosphere and stronger lungs. If China alone did this for a day, it would save the planet over 40,000 tons of carbon dioxide, assuming each person had two lungs. But why stop there? Methane, which is 21 more times more powerful a greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide, can be found in our farts. Next to cows, our physical bodies are the biggest producers of methane gas in the world. Instead of releasing your gas into the air, you should just cup it in your hand and inhale it.
3. Let gays marry.
While it may sound very un-Catholic, letting gays marry each other makes a lot of sense especially now that we have a food crisis in our hands. Gays can’t have kids so that means population control. Giving them the sacrament of unity means more gays will come out of the closet instead of living in denial by marrying and having unnecessary kids that put a strain on the food and energy supply. Besides, why should heterosexuals be the only ones to suffer, let the gays marry and endure the nagging, bickering, and snoring of their partners.
Global warming won’t fix itself unless we do something. If we choose to just sit back and watch the ice melt, sea levels will rise and the sky will fall. Maybe agent Smith in the Matrix was right about us being like a virus that multiplies and multiplies until every natural resource is consumed. We’ll find out within the decade.