Triathlon, Tri-reasons

I’ve never understood the whole triathlon phenomenon that has taken over the lives of so many innocent people. With the false notion that I’m a triathlete by blood since some of my relatives have dominated the Ironman and other similar events, the obsessive triathlon cult has been trying to recruit me for a year now. My defiant response has always been, “Why on earth would I want to wake up before sunrise to run, bike, and get kicked in the face with my goggles on?” But last week after I weighed myself on my unreliable scale, I started to seriously consider waking up my triathlon muscles, which have been sleeping slothfully underneath the layers of fat. Then after a few minutes, reality kicked in and I went back to bed. But I did contemplate the reasons why these people are so overzealous over the sport, if I’m allowed to call it that.

The first explanation that popped in my head was endorphin addiction. We’ve all felt a runner’s high and I’m quite sure this is what triathletes experience that keeps them hooked. Endorphins are hormones released by the brain during strenuous exercise, excitement, and orgasm – 3 things I’ve seen in triathlon events (except for the last item, I think). Truly, there is no better alternative to recreational drugs than getting high on life.

Secondly, it is quite possible that triathletes are running away from their wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, fiancées, or debt (probably caused by their partner). There is no better excuse for leaving the house early in the morning and coming home too exhausted to talk than joining an Ultraman event. It’s the perfect alibi for some “alone” time… together with a few hundred sportspeople who also want to be alone.

Lastly, I believe triathlons are perfect opportunities for networking, be it social or business. Think about it, who else can afford expensive bikes and take time off work other than the head honchos of companies? Deals are made on the golf course but alliances are created in triathlons.

With all these obvious benefits of being a triathlete, I still wouldn’t become one for 3 reasons: I can’t wake up earlier than 8am, I refuse to pay more than P5,000 for a bike, and I don’t want to be a jack of all trades and a master of none.