Airport Security

With all the recent security lapses on commercial flights, one might be convinced that all these strict measures such as taking off your belt, shoes, and coins are futile. I would argue that they are pointless as evidenced by the recent terrorist who slipped through the cracks with his explosive device attached to his crotch, which in some cases can also be an explosive device if used correctly. So what is the problem? As an owner of a security agency and a member of an elite group of security specialists, which I will not mention (for security reasons), I can tell you that the measures in place are focusing on the wrong things.

First of all, terrorists have studied the system and they know the weak spots and that is what they will try to exploit. So counter-terrorists have to be five steps ahead. Forget about bottled water and other liquids. Those same liquids are available on the plane, so if they really wanted, they could just order it from the flight attendant. Instead they should focus on the religious profile of the passengers. Now, before you point the religious bigot finger at me, hear me out. Most terrorists belong to some extremist religious group that believes in blowing up others. So, why not plant a mole in every flight and have him pretend to be an extremist believer in jihad or some similar misguided view. This undercover agent can be overt and outspoken about his beliefs. Then watch for other passengers who display an affinity or are friendly to this bait.

Once you’ve identified these suspects, do a background check if they have taken flight school. Additionally, give them a cavity and crotch search under the guise of “random check”. Then just ask them some simple questions such as:

• How do you feel about having 18 virgins waiting for if and when you accomplish a certain mission?
• Killing innocent people – are you for or against it?
• Should women be allowed to vote and own property?
• Would you be willing to shave that beard?
• Have you ever thought of hiding and explosive device in your beard?
• If a bomb explodes in a forest and nobody is there, does it make a sound?
• Why does America suck?

Based on the answers to these strategic questions, you can infer the ones with a terror plot. Then you can have a religious leader on stand by to counsel these misled souls. Terrorism on planes will be prevented.

Original article can be found in Manila Times:
http://www.manilatimes.net/index.php/lifestyle/10647-airport-security