Rogue Assassin

Rogue Assassin
Rouge Assassin or War, which is its title in the U.S., is as good as Jet Li’s last good Hollywood produced movie. Oh wait, he hasn’t had one. Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of Jet Li especially in Once Upon a Time 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. But like in his San Miguel Beer commercial, he always ends up underutlized and beaten up by bad scriptwriters. Jet Li is capable of so much more than his broken Engish, which he proved in the movie Hero. It seems Western producers don’t know what to do with him; he’s not funny and goofy like Jackie Chan and doesn’t have the commanding stature of Chow Yun Fat. They partnered him with a black rapper, DMX, and now they changed the formula by going with a rough white Brit getting the same mediocre result.

As for the rest of the cast, Jason Statham was his usual tough self playing a “bad” cop named Jack Crawford who’s not afraid of anything except a good shave. I still think he was most likeable in Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, which for me was his best movie. Devon Aoki, the girl in 2 Fast 2 Furious, was stunning or maybe not. I still haven’t decided if she’s cute or really werid looking. I’m leaning towards the latter.

The plot, if you can call it that, is about 2 FBI agents who are hunting down an assassin named Rogue hired by the Yakuza Gang. Jack’s partner gets killed by Rogue (or does he?) and so Jack must avenge his death. Meanwhile, Rogue deviously creates a war between the Triads and the Yakuza gang. To get an R13 rating, a lot of frames in the action scenes were deleted making the sequences jerky. But even if they did show those frames, the action would still be very confusing. I couldn’t tell who was hitting who just like in the Transformers movie. And the much anticipated face-off between Jet Li and Stathem was shorter than president GMA on heels. Two sex scenes, including one involving the doggystyle position (I’m using MTRCB terms), were also deleted which I think were vital to the development of conflict between my legs. The twist in the end is implausible because of the accent issue – how can you speak with an American twang then all of a sudden have a heavy Mandarin accent? Even local radio Djs can fake an American accent better than Jet Li. Oh wait, have I revealed too much? (I meant that about the Djs and not the plot)

Poor Jet Li has had a string of mediocre movies: Romeo Must Die, Danny the Dog, The One, and now Rogue Assassin. Makes you wonder how things would’ve turned out for him if he didn’t turn down the role of Li Mu Bai in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. But given all that, I’d still watch another Jet Li movie. Just not in the theater.

My Rating: Karate chop to the nuts. This ain’t no Bourne Ultimatum but you can still see it but just watch it on DVD.

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